A bad dream.

I had a bad dream last night, which woke me up in tears.

"To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are unconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truth or is not fully committed in the relationship."

I remembered feeling very hurt, very disappointed. Even when I have been jostled awake, I couldn't stop crying because it felt so raw, so real, so painful. I actually felt my heart aching.

Perhaps it's the recent spate of events and subconscious thoughts and fears that inspired the dream. Admittedly, my thoughts have been a little wild of late.

This dream reaffirmed something - that he really matters alot to me.

When you allow someone access into the deepest vault of your heart, it can render you totally vulnerable and defenceless. I'm scared. What have I gotten myself into?

Can love conquer all?

The world is full of infinite possibilities and opportunities - staying in a devoted and monogamous relationship in such a society can be a huge challenge, especially if you are one good looker. Afterall, temptations lurk, and are just waiting for the right time to strike.

Scary, isn't it?

It is.

And so, bearing that in mind, I've always reminded myself not to date a good looker - I seriously do not need the constant fear - of him derailing.

But fate often is opinionated and decides that I should date a (rather) good looker.

And now, I'm experiencing that uncomfortable feeling I so do not want. Trust me, it doesn't feel at all good. Damn.

I want to trust him but I don't know if I can. I want to have faith in myself but I'm not sure if I have it. It's dilemmatic. You get the drift.

The notion of true love conquering all is eminently comforting at this juncture. And I can only hope that what we share is true love and it does, as promised, conquer all, temptations included.

"How do you bounce back when reality batters your belief system and love does not, as promised, conquer all?" - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City