Chapter 7.

The author of the novel I'm reading now is an Irish and the setting of the novel, in Ireland. By Chapter Seven, I'm abruptly reminded of a certain someone - someone whose heart I've unintentionally hurt years ago, perhaps twelve.

We used to go to the same primary school. Then he left for college in Ireland after completing his secondary school. We met again when he was back during his vacation and the reunion sparkled a brief romance. I know he was really sweet to me but the realisation that I didn't truly love him made me feel very guilty. I didn't think I was being fair to him and decided one evening, after several months from the day we held hands, to let him down. It wasn't at all easy. I cried buckets that night.

He was supposed to continue his university studies in Scotland after we parted but I'm not sure if he did because I've lost total contact with him. I don't know where in the world he is now and frankly, there was no need to know. I hope he has found true love like I did and is happy wherever he is. Maybe one day, if fate permits, we'll meet again. It's always heartwarming to see an old friend.

When does the art of compromise become compromising?

B once told me he read from an article the happiest relationship is one where compromise is unrequired. I agreed and still agree. It's nice to be loved for being ourselves.

As we all know, ideals only happen in fairytales. In reality, certain level of compromise will still be needed I supposed, for a relationship to work.

Take some habits for example:

He's an earlybird. I'm not.
I'm laid-back. He's fast-paced.
I won't run for the bus. He will.
He walks fast. I stroll.

Reality is such that - in order to get along - we will have to adjust and meet midway.

There you go.

"In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising? - Sex and the City

I need a sign.

"I need a sign. I mean you told me to have faith but see I’m kind of losing mine, so… I need a sign. Just tell me I’m the one." - Sex and the City

I'm kindda losing mine too. Could it be the legendary PMS mood swing? I feel awful cos this feeling is not something I'd like to be going through. I guess, again, nobody does.

Can faith just drop dead suddenly?

Do we need reassurances from time to time, to keep faith alive?

Do we need signs?

I think, I do.

Are we forever haunted?

Just the other day, A agreed with me we were likely no longer in love during the last few years of our relationship.

Today, he contradicted himself - over MSN chat - that he still think about me, and finds it quite impossible to wholeheartedly love his current girlfriend.

This is so scary.

And very absurd.

How could he?!

I'm so glad I know exactly how I feel - I have only B in my heart.

"When a relationship dies, do we ever really give up the ghost, or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past?" - Sex and the City